Monday, September 3, 2012

Just for Fun this Labor Day :)


Happy Labor Day!
May you enjoy your day
in a way that makes you the happiest.



* * * * *
Punography
I changed my i Pod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

I tried to catch some Fog. I mist.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns . It was a play on words .

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type- O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

* * *

Thanks for stopping by.
Pug hugs :)
Lauren

12 comments:

Larkrise garden girl said...

Lauren, That was great. I liked the England liverpool one the best. LOL!

Ann said...

Very funny! Enjoyed them all. Happy Labor Day.
~Ann

Janice said...

Those were so funny! And clever...

Julia said...

I saw those online and thought that they were the funniest. Thanks for sharing. Happy Labor Day. JB

denise said...

funny!!! denise

Farm Girl said...

That is so cute. My family just loves puns so they will get a good laugh out of this. Have a wonderful Labor day!

Kim said...

Those are a hoot!! Happy Labor Day.

TheCrankyCrow said...

Arghhh...and double arghh! :o)) Where you keep coming up with these is beyond me. Happy, Happy, Labor Day....Hope you spent it laborlessly. Smiles & Hugs ~ Robin

Primitive Stars said...

Happy Labour Day Lauren, oh what a fun post, love it. Fun, fun , fun,Blessings Francine.

acorn hollow said...

Happy Labor day funny girl. I am off to make tea with holy water:)
Cathy

Dog Trot Farm said...

Fun, thank you!

moosecraft said...

Oh these are GREAT!