Oh Christmas Tree !

My main Christmas tree, whether real or artificial, has alway been at least seven feet tall.  It has been many years since I've had a live tree, but I had this wonderful artificial one that I just loved.  The branches were spaced unevenly, it had grapevine and pinecones attached and it would hold heavy ornaments.  Sadly, for the last few years it has been losing more needles than a real tree.  This year I decided I just couldn't haul it down from the attic.  I brought another tree down from the attic I haven't used in years.  At my previous house, it was the family room tree.  Oh my goodness!  It is so much smaller than what I am used to.  I even had my DSO put it on a milk crate, and it still looked too small.  I was undecided as to what I should do.  Since I had not found a tree I wanted to buy, Jake helped me decorate this one.  It has sort of grown on me and Jake had a ball decorating it and thinks it is just beautiful. 

My Mom gave me this angel many years ago.  She said it was the angel from my Grandma's Nativity set.

I still cherish the ornaments made by my boys.

Plastic drapery ring and brown craft paper ornament made by my dear niece Elise almost 40 years ago.  (She must be getting old!)

Needlepoint ornie made by my sister (also many years ago!).

I got this in first grade.  This angel broke off many years ago.

My one true antique Christmas ornament.  I was told it is probably 1880's.

Old Santa light bulb.

Of course there's at least one pug.

One of a set of six pysanka eggs my niece brought me back from Czechoslovakia, I believe.

And a little humor to end the day.

Dear Friends,

This time of year worries me. Not for the crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the Season when the food police (remember them?) come out in full force with their fingers wagging and their annual tips on how to get through the Holidays without gaining a few pounds or inches.

You can't pick up a magazine or news paper without finding a list of Holiday eating do's and don'ts. Eliminate second helpings, high-calorie sauces and cookies made with butter they say, and filling up on vegetable sticks is encouraged. Good grief! Is your favorite childhood memory of Christmas a carrot stick? I don't think so! Mine isn't either.

A carrot was something you left for Rudolph. So, here are a few of my own tips for Holiday eating. Rest assured, by following this sage advice you'll rekindle fond childhood memories (unless your parents were vegan) and quite possibly enjoy yourself a bit.

So what if your drawers are a little snug by New Year's Day, that's what resolutions are for!

1) About those carrot sticks. Avoid them! Anyone who puts carrots on a Holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. If you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, or down the street where they're probably serving rum balls.

2) Drink as much eggnog as you can and do it quickly! Like a fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer. You can't find it any other time of the year. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not like you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat, so enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think...so drink up!

3) If something comes with gravy, for god’s sake use it! That's the whole point of gravy. Go ahead and pour it on! Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Pretend it's erupting and watch the villagers flee! Save the villagers, then repeat.

4) As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk with sour cream and butter. If it's the former, pass it up. Why bother? That'd be like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5) Do not have a healthy snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember college?

6) Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do but take long naps. You'll need all your energy circling the buffet table while carrying several plates of food and that vat of eggnog.

7) If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. Like a fine pair of shoes or a great buy at Home Depot. You can't leave them behind at any cost, because you won't be seeing them again any time soon.

8) Same of pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat? Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat? Have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9) Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards, mate.

10) And one last thought: If you're not stuffed when you leave the party or have a problem getting up from the table, you haven't been paying attention here. This wasn't written for your amusement.

Thank you so much for stopping by!  I hope a few of you have made it to the end.

Pug hugs :)
Lauren