Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Meeting myself coming and going ~ ~ ~

Welcome friends!
I'm sure most of you feel the way I do at one time or another. This is just a very busy week and every day (in addition to work!) with the exception of tomorrow I have at least one commitment. The gardens need more attention, there's always something to do in the house, I want to hook and just have some time for me. There's not enough hours in the day to do what needs done.
Last evening I got home at 8:30 to find a notice on my door that my gas was shut off. They are "upgrading the service line connection at the gas meter as part of the Riser Safety Program at no direct cost to me". (I'm sure I will "indirectly" pay for it!) It can't be turned back on until they can come in the house to check all gas appliances for leaks. They gave a toll free number to call. I call and get to leave a voice message. Oh, terrific! I wonder if I'll still have hot water in the morning to shower. At 10:45 I am finishing up the newspaper and see flashing lights and hopefully go to the door. Yep, the gas man cometh. I was glad he showed up, but it was past 11:00 before everything was turned back on. I fell into bed past 11:30 and got up my usual tired self.
Are any of you baby boomers out there dealing with a parent with dementia? My Mom is 89 and still living alone, but probably not for much longer. The dementia is getting worse and worse. I try so hard to be patient, but some days it is so hard. For those of you who have gone through this or are currently dealing with these issues, do you have any insight or suggestions? Tonight she was hinting (well, actually more than just hinting) that she should come live with me. I love her with all my heart, but I just can't live with her. I'm sure some of you will understand and others will think I am a terrible person, but it is just more than I can handle. Oh, I'm sorry for dumping on all of you, but sometimes it helps to get it out.
On a brighter note, here are a few more pictures from my gardens. The yellow jackets (?) love the globe thistle.
One of my favorite daylilies.
The coneflowers are in full bloom.
The balloon flowers are just starting to bloom.
Thank you so much for stopping by and for listening to me.
Pug hugs :)


Alice ~ Folk Art Primitives said...

Oh, Lauren ~ I will listen to you anytime! You are absolutely right to not take on something you know you cannot do!! Guilt is unproductive ~ don't even entertain it! There are people who get paid to take care of our elders and you will be helping the with their job security!!
Your garden looks really good!! Take care ~

Linda said...

Hi Lauren - Your flowers look beautiful. You must not have the curse of the Japanese beetle in your area! Our flowers look great until the first week of July and then whoosh--in come the beetles and eat everything in sight! I can't stand it. This has been happening now for about 4 or 5 years.

I'm so sorry about your mom's dementia. I know how draining it can be to deal with it. My mom is 80 and while she has not been given the diagnosis of dementia, I think she has symptoms of the early signs of it. It can be so frustrating to deal with. You know that the things that happen are not her fault, but at the same time you feel, "Why can't she see how irrational this is?" I love my mom very much and she is a wonderful person. It is just difficult to handle seeing the changes in her personality, and dealing with the everyday challenges of those changes...and then the guilt you feel for being frustrated with your own mother. I understand.

adsgram said...

That happy little guy on your globe thistle is a Bumblebee...they are so busy all the time, and unlike those icky yellowjackets, are not out for blood! ..LOL! Your flowers are beautiful!

You know better than anyone what you are able to handle, and if your Mom really is in the beginning stages of a mental change maybe you should talk to her doctor or someone who can give you a professional opinion. This is too much for you to deal with alone, and you have absolutely no reason to feel guilty..


Anonymous said...

Lauren~your flowers are incredilble...just beautiful! I especially love cone flowers! I just started a new job in a very busy psychiatrist group practice and I have noticed quite a number of adults coming in w/their senior parents. I'm sure they have quite a bit of information on resources available. Just an idea...fight the guilt, it's such an unproductive emotion...everyone has their own limits...I'll be thinking of you~Kathy

Rugs and Pugs said...

Alice ~ Linda ~ Lynne ~ Kathy...
THANK YOU so much for your kind words. They mean a lot to me. Guilt, oh boy, do I have that ~ that Catholic girl guilt...lol! I do what I can and yet feel I'm never doing enough. I did have my mom put on an anti-depressant a few months ago - told her it was to help her memory. She refuses to take an anti-depressant. She's not depressed...yeah, right. How can she not be depressed when she understands what is happening to her? Just heartbreaking.
We are getting a bit of much needed rain tonight. More of a sprinkle, but I'll take whatever we can get!
Lynne ~ I didn't think it was a bumble bee because they are so big. I've been getting lots of them on the globe thistle.
Once again, dear blog friends, a big THANK YOU!
Pug hugs :)

woolwoman said...

Your flowers are beautiful Lauren. I know how much time they require. I am an only child and have a very close relationship with my mother - so I know one day when the time comes - she and my stepdad will come and live with us - I hope that is many years in the future. We cared for my dear grandmother and never did have to put her in a facility - I am so thankful we were able to do that for her - she did not get really bad until about the last 6 mos of her life and even then she was never incontinent - just confused about where she was - so very sad but she was almost 94 and I loved her so much and still miss her very much even though it's been 10 years since she passed away. I know not everyone is able to care for aging parents or relatives - I am not judging anyone for their views - I'm just saying what I hope for my mom and my future is that she and my dad will remain able to be active and in control for many years to come. Wishing you patience and wisdom to deal with your challenges. - Mel