Thursday, June 6, 2013

Paraprosdokians ~

Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. 
Winston Churchill loved them.

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.  Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:  I put 'DOCTOR'.'

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

* * *
Since this blog is Rugs and PUGS, and it's been a while since I've posted any pugs, I thought I'd share a few pictures taken of Loocie this evening at daddy's place.  Isn't she just the cutest little thing?  That grey face just melts my heart.

Typical "pugsit"

* * *
I needed to change my shower curtain liner, so I decided I'd go ahead and wash the shower curtain.  As I take it out of the dryer I'm thinking it looks a bit small.  I look at the label and it says "Dry Clean Only".  Whodda thunk you would ever need to take your shower curtain to the dry cleaner?  It's probably cheaper to buy a new one and that's exactly what I will be doing in the next couple of days.  It probably shrunk at least 25%.  Darn!  I liked that curtain.

Thanks so much for stopping by!
Pug hugs :)


Julia said...

I love your paraprosdokians but it's the first time I heard of that word.
I don't think that I ever want to be equal to men if I have to walk down the street with a beer gut. I've walked down the street bald head though during chemo.

I sat at an executive meeting to take minutes in a room with 5 bald men and I said. Gee I feel right at home here today. They all burst out laughing and everyone was set at ease. I felt pretty equal then, lol...

Princess Loocie is such a cutie. She just melt my heart.

Kim said...

Those are too funny! Isn't it kind of ironic that a shower curtains role is to live beside a water source, yet it's dry clean only?? Imagine.......Lol
Loocie looks darling, as usual.

The Evening Stitcher said...

Love the phrases....I never knew sarcasm had a formal name!! The shower curtains are funny...I have a white quilt that I purchased a few months ago....followed the instructions for washing....and it shrunk a good 8 inches also...I doubt it would fit a twin bed now...very disappointing!! Love the pugs! Have a great night...see you in a few weeks!

Patti said...

Just what I needed after a rough day at work.... Clever sayings and the cutest little pug :) thanks so much for the smiles! I needed that!
Blessings, Patti

Farm Girl said...

Such pretty photos of Loosie, What a sweetie pie.
I didn't know that, dry clean only?? You do have to ask who would dry clean a shower curtain.
I love all of your sayings. I of course cannont spell that great word. I am going to work on it.
I love the tomato and fruit salad.
Thank you so much for the jolly laugh.

WoolenSails said...

Such a sweet face, she likes hamming it up for the camera.
Never had a shower curtain I couldn't wash, lol.


Larkrise garden girl said...

I loved all the saying and all those pugs are oh so precious.Cheri

Three Sheep Studio said...

This post is a hoot with the many funny sayings.
Your pugs look so "deep in thought". (Must be all the sayings. ;)

Mugwump Woolies said...

Loocie is so her "grey hair". There is some truth in all that silliness!
Have a great weekend,

Primitive Stars said...

Hi Lauren, enjoyed reading the saying......kiss that sweet Puggy face for me, soooo sweet........To bad about the shower curtain, darn.....Happy Weekend, Francine.

Nan ~ Threadwork Primitives said...

These are too funny. I will have to remember some of these when I need a smile.
#3 is my fav :)
Loocie is really cute. I just want to smooch her wrinkled forehead.

acorn hollow said...

those saying are so funny. Love the pug pictures esp the pug sit.
who would think a shower curtain needs dry cleaning.

Jacqueline said...

Well this post certainly brought a smile to my face in a lot of ways. Loved the sayings - and hope to use some of them in the future - of course I will have to remember them first..

Loocie just makes your heart melt and last but not least the shower curtain.. who in heavens name makes a shower curtain dry clean only..

Have a great weekend.

The Wool Cupboard said...

Lauren, Thanks for the smiles! Loocie is a cutie, for sure.

Who would have thought that a shower curtain shouldn't be in water???


Raymond Homestead said...

Awww what a sweetheart Loocie is! Those are funny sayings,made me laugh! Sounds like something that would happen to me, washing that shower curtain.

Orange Sink said...

Hi Lauren,
Loving the Paraprosdokians! One can always get an education when reading your blog! LOL! Love It!!
Loocie girl is sweet as ever! That's crazy about your shower curtain... it's so maddening especially when you liked it! I stick with plastic ones and then reuse them on my work table in the studio when I'm doing messy stuff.
Big hugs!!
Cathy G

Janice said...

I loved seeing the pictures of reminding me of my sweet Winnie, now 13 and as spirited as ever.

moosecraft said...

These are FUN! Difficult to pick a favorite. Cute pics of Loocie... she has the most darling face!

marly said...

I will never remember that word but won't forget the examples! Very good!

dogwoodfarm said...

Loocie is adorable! I think the way they sit is so cute. You gotta love her!
A shower curtain that has to be dry cleaned is just dumb! LOL
Have a great weekend!

Miccosukee said...

Thanks for sharing those photos of the cuddle buddy. How adorable!!
I also loved your sayings. In fact, I have #13 on a steel cup which used to sit on my desk when I was still employed. Amazing how many mugs you accumulate over the years. People usually give them because they have no idea what you might want. In my case, when in doubt, send chocolate!