{{Men, if any of you are reading this, you might want to skip this post...lol!}}
Any guesses what this is? I'm sure some of you ladies out there will recognize it! 
It is a mammotome table. Let me explain. On Monday I had a breast biopsy. You lay on this table, face down, with your boob hanging in the hole. There is a vise (I don't think that is the technical term!) underneath that they tighten. Sound pleasant? Not really. They tell you once "in position" you are not allowed to move. So what do I do? Get a charlie horse in my foot. I'm flexing my foot trying to get rid of it. Oh, no. That is not allowed! You can only wiggle your finger tips.Okay. I am in this vise, not allowed to move. The doctor tells me I will feel a pinch. Do you have any idea how much it hurts having a needle stuck in your boob? Did I mention you can't even flinch? Now I must tell you that the mammography tech Kathy was wonderful. She had explained everything beforehand (the Thursday before the procedure I had to go for a "test run" and have pictures taken and the exact spots marked with Xes where the tissue samples would be taken) and was there to reassure me every step of the way. The procedure took about 35 minutes ~ oh how wonderful to get out of that vise. The incision was only about 1/4 of an inch and no stitches were needed. A miniscule titanium clip was inserted into the breast so in the future they can pinpoint where they did the biopsy. (I now have two of these in the left breast. I also had this done eight years ago.) After the dressing was applied, I can now get dressed and go home. It's over, right? Not quite. Kathy gets this enormous, fist sized hunk of gauze, puts it in my bra and tells me it must stay there for the next two days. So here I am with one 36D and one almost 36B. I thought I was back in junior high stuffing my bra ;-) Today I am still a bit sore, my boob is the most lovely shades of purple and yellow, but I got a call from the doctor's office letting me know the results were NEGATIVE! I feel truly blessed and know I am one of the lucky ones.
It is a mammotome table. Let me explain. On Monday I had a breast biopsy. You lay on this table, face down, with your boob hanging in the hole. There is a vise (I don't think that is the technical term!) underneath that they tighten. Sound pleasant? Not really. They tell you once "in position" you are not allowed to move. So what do I do? Get a charlie horse in my foot. I'm flexing my foot trying to get rid of it. Oh, no. That is not allowed! You can only wiggle your finger tips.Okay. I am in this vise, not allowed to move. The doctor tells me I will feel a pinch. Do you have any idea how much it hurts having a needle stuck in your boob? Did I mention you can't even flinch? Now I must tell you that the mammography tech Kathy was wonderful. She had explained everything beforehand (the Thursday before the procedure I had to go for a "test run" and have pictures taken and the exact spots marked with Xes where the tissue samples would be taken) and was there to reassure me every step of the way. The procedure took about 35 minutes ~ oh how wonderful to get out of that vise. The incision was only about 1/4 of an inch and no stitches were needed. A miniscule titanium clip was inserted into the breast so in the future they can pinpoint where they did the biopsy. (I now have two of these in the left breast. I also had this done eight years ago.) After the dressing was applied, I can now get dressed and go home. It's over, right? Not quite. Kathy gets this enormous, fist sized hunk of gauze, puts it in my bra and tells me it must stay there for the next two days. So here I am with one 36D and one almost 36B. I thought I was back in junior high stuffing my bra ;-) Today I am still a bit sore, my boob is the most lovely shades of purple and yellow, but I got a call from the doctor's office letting me know the results were NEGATIVE! I feel truly blessed and know I am one of the lucky ones. The reason for this post is to remind my dear blog friends that if you are due for a mammogram, do not delay. Please get on the phone and schedule your appointment today.
Pug hugs :)
Lauren
Lauren
Lauren ~ I am so happy for your negative result, and I must tell you that I laughed out loud at your description of the procedure! It reminds me of a definition I heard a few years ago...mammogram - where they try to turn a cup into a saucer! Congrats on the negative!
ReplyDeleteLauren, I am so glad you had a negative! Hope you get to feeling better soon!
ReplyDeleteWow! I've heard about that table thing ~ that must have been very interesting!!! And you know I am so happy for your great report!!
ReplyDeleteI was winching along with you - hate that 'stay still" - Yea right - you lay here! LOL Anyway - so very happy for your "negative report!"
ReplyDeleteExcellent Blog, I have not had the pleasure yet of this procedure, very enlightening and a bit scary.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear your Negative has become Positive.
Corinne
Lauren,
ReplyDeleteI am sooooo happy for you getting a negative on the biopsy!!!
That made me cringe! There seem to be a lot of torture devices for women still in use!
I'm glad you're OK and hope the soreness is gone soon.
First of all, congratulations on the negative result. That is great news. Second, let me tell you you've been microchiped -- just like the vet recently did to one of the alpacas on the farm. Thought that would make you feel so much better! Glad you didn't spit on the tech. And third, how did you not run screaming from the room when you saw that machine? Just the logistics of climbing onto the table and inserting a body part in the opening is enough to make me woozy.
ReplyDeleteGreat news about the results. I am still giggling about your description. I have had some experience in the vise! Its no fun but you managed to make it entertaining.
ReplyDeleteLauren,
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear the results were "negative". So many of us ignore such treatments and the results aren't so positive as yours. At first glance of this table set up, I thought maybe a colonoscopy table, and what's the deal with the picture on the wall of the rocks and running water, or was it real? Was this supposed to calm your nerves? You see, I am wayyyy too young for such devices. LOL
Wow Lauren, what a procedure!
ReplyDeleteI AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU THAT IT IS NEGATIVE!!!
Thanks for sharing...I know there are many women out there that think a mamog. is not necesssary...YES IT IS....
Thanks for posting. Glad you are okay and can go on with a secure mind now.
Karen
Wonderful about your results!
ReplyDeleteI totally sympathize. I have not had a biopsy yet although I have had numerous callbacks, the last one taking 3 weeks to resolve!
The waiting is the worst of course.
Just wonderful about your news!
What a Praise that it was negative. Applauding you for sharing it with us and reminding all the women out here to get their annual done. I've already had mine :). Wonderful news!!
ReplyDeleteNow that is something that I've never had to go through. I'm so happy that the results were negative. Why is it that almost all the womanly examinations have to hurt so much??? But at least they keep us healthy!
ReplyDeleteHi Lauren,
ReplyDeleteI am rejoicing with you that the results were negative! I guess we have to go through these things to keep us healthy.......but why can't they figure out a way to make this procedure a little less intimidating! Hope you are de-stressing and thanks for the encouragement to get the mammogram. I'm slightly overdue for mine! Yikes! Cathy G
Oh, Lauren, I had that biopsy done too. About 3 years ago, and let me tell you, I have never forgotten one minute of it, the "laying perfectly still" part and the pain, ahem, discomfort of going through it. Plus my skin had a reaction to the tape holding the dressing, so besides the bruising, I had itchy blisters....YEOW!
ReplyDeleteSo glad your results were negative, mine were too. And yes, ladies, do not procrastinate about your mammogram! I learned the hard way!
THANK YOU everyone for all your kind words. I've read them all several time and they are much appreciated. Some of the comments I received definitely made me laugh...
ReplyDeleteI've been microchipped....
A colonoscopy table ~ now that's some visual...
Spit on the tech....
Kris ~ I'm glad you had negative results, too. I was lucky I did not have a reaction to the tape but after 8 days, I am ready to have the tape gone. I am still beautiful shades of purple, but it's worth it!
Remember ~ schedule that mammogram!!!!!!
Pug hugs :)
Lauren