Sunday, March 27, 2011

Insightful (???) Sayings ~

Steven Wrightisms

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

I had amnesia once--or maybe twice.

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?


Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.


All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.


If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride side saddle.


What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?


Someone told me I was gullible and, guess what ... I believed them.


Teach a child to be polite and courteous and, when he grows up,
he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.


One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.


My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.


I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.


The high cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.


If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?


How can there be self-help "groups"?


Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground and
I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

Is it just me--or do buffalo wings really taste like chicken?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 
Thanks so much for stopping by.
Pug hugs :)
Lauren

(Blogger won't let me add a picture.  It will download, but it will not show up on the published post.  Is anyone else having a problem?)

15 comments:

Kim said...

Hahaha those are excellent. The one about merging into traffic is Auntie to a tee. When she is driving I'm almost having a fit yelling Go, Go, Go.

acorn hollow said...

oh your a funny funny woman! cute I plan on using some of those on my question of the day at work
Cathy

prims by olde lady morgan said...

Love it! More then one giggle! OLM

Courtney said...

Giggles, as usual! Where ever did you find these gems? Love them!
Courtney

TamboinMO said...

Lauren,
Hope you had a happy birthday....who knew our birthdays were so close together?! Love all the sayings you shared with us today!

Furry Bottoms said...

You silly!!! :)

Joanne said...

Good ones! Had some giggles! Thanks

Brenda said...

Love those! Thanks for sharing!

Brenda

KittyWampus said...

Ain't it tha truth???! :o)

weaverpat said...

Thanks for starting my day off with a smile!!!

Doris said...

Oh Lauren, I need that laugh - thanks a bunch!

Tamera @ the Stone Fence Cottage said...

AMEN!!! that's all I gott say!!

Deb said...

Love those sayings! I don't know what is wrong with Blogger but it's been giving me a pain recently. Hopefully someone will get things cleared up.

Teri said...

Okay ... first I hope your not mad ... But, I just had to let everyone who doesn't know, that you are a sweetheart! Thank you so much!
This one is great!
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Speaks volumes doesn't it ...
Have a great week.
Teri♥♥♥

Julia said...

Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog Lauren, it's been a very long and busy day and thank you so much for sharing those silly insightful saying. I needed that. JB